January 16, 2020
MAID TO MEASURE
A great Maid of Honour (or bridesmaid) will be many things on the run-up to your wedding and on the day itself: helpful, attentive, patient. She’ll also occasionally weigh in with some much needed perspective when things get a bit stressful. So here are 7 Top Tips for a first time Maid of Honour, a handy, cut-out-and-keep guide on how to be a top notch MOH on your friend’s wedding day. It’s easy, you’ve got this!
1.KEEP CALM AND TAKE THE REINS
On the wedding day (and on the run-up), emotions are running high and even the smallest thing can seem overwhelming. This is where you can step in: keep the bride calm and use your initiative. Try to be a source of serenity for the bride and her family. If the flowers are a little late, be the one on the phone to the florist politely asking for an ETA. If the Mother Of The Bride needs safety pins, try to find her some.
While the bride is having her hair and make-up done, you may well need to step into the role of unofficial wedding planner. You’ve been by the bride’s side through the whole planning process so you know this wedding as well as she does: get ready to call some shots. No matter what hiccups occur on the day, remind your friend that as long as both bride and groom turn up, everything will be fine. You’ve got this.
“When it’s crunch time…and no one’s sure where the name cards have gone or the DJ doesn’t know which song the wedding party should be announced to, go ahead and make those calls! You’re maid of honour for a reason – you know your bride and she trusts you.” Paige
2.BE HELPFUL WHEN DRESS SHOPPING
Finding the dress can be equal parts wonderful and stressful. The women around the bride (mums, sisters, eager friends) might all have their own opinions on the dress. If you all go dress shopping together, that’s a lot of opinions to balance. If you find yourself on the wedding dress excursion, try to ask helpful questions like:
“Can you move in it?”
“How do you feel in it?”
“Don’t worry about what your mum wants, what do you want?”
Once your bride has found The One, get to know that dress really well. Make sure you know how it works: the buttons, the secret bit that ties up the train for the first dance, the way you need to pull the hem slightly so that the underskirts sit correctly. Wedding gowns are beautiful, complicated things and the bride might be too distracted on the day to remember what the seamstress told her.
3.SEND HER OFF IN STYLE
The bachelorette. Arguably the trickiest bit of being a bridesmaid. When arranging it, planning is key. Have a good think about the bride and what she’d like (it might even be a good idea to ask her) and get a guest list from her early on. Bear in mind that this list may change as she remembers people she’s missed off (this always happens). Try not to send the guests too many emails, either.
On the night (or weekend) itself, try not to overdo things. A good bachelorette is like a fine wine: it needs to breathe. Plan a few lovely activities with plenty of refreshments. Don’t worry, everyone goes on a bachelorette prepared to have a good time. It’ll be the easiest audience you’ve ever entertained!
4.CHECK IN ON HER
On the run-up to the wedding, your friend might be completely chilled or not-so chilled. There’s no way of knowing how she’ll cope, so check in over the phone: ask if there are any jobs you can take on, listen to her complaints, be a sympathetic ear, make her laugh. Let her know that you’re there for her. Above all, share in her joy. Be as enthusiastic about her wedding as she is: this is a super exciting time in her life, she’s dying to share it with you. Have fun.
“Her encouragement and enthusiasm in every stage of the process was contagious. All the moving pieces of wedding planning can easily feel overwhelming, and having your MOH consistently in your corner cheering you on is an incredibly reassuring and calming staple for any bride.” Elizabeth
5.HOLD THE BOUQUET & FLUFF THE DRESS
…and not just during the photos. Take the bridal bouquet once she’s walked up the aisle so her hands are free for the exchanging of rings. Fluff, smooth and generally check the dress before and after the ceremony.
6.KEEP THE BRIDE FED &WATERED
While the bride and groom are having a few photos taken, it’s an excellent idea to ask the bride if she wants anything to eat or drink. It’s a long day and she can’t function on adrenaline alone. After all, she spent three hours choosing those canapés, she deserves to enjoy some of them! This goes for the morning prep, too. Make sure she has water or Champagne (she might need both!) and if nobody’s thought about breakfast, order some room service.
“My maid of honor was the best…during the long formal photo session in the heat of summer, she went and got me a glass of Frosé, which she then held for the whole session, offering me sips between photos. It was something so small, but such a thoughtful gesture.” Katerina
If you’re giving a speech, write it in plenty of time and rehearse it in front of someone who will tell you the truth. Make it warm, funny and brief (nobody likes a rambling wedding speech). Avoid any stories that aren’t really WA (Wedding Appropriate); no matter how funny you think it is, consider your audience.
“My maid of honour was my dearest friend. The most wonderful thing she did was her genius speech – it was so well prepared and thought through, and then delivered with an amazing combination of animation, humour and truth. I loved every second of it, as did our guests. Afterwards, she sent me a copy of her written speech to keep.” Bradlee
IF YOU ENJOYED READING OUR 7 TOP TIPS FOR A FIRST TIME MAID OF HONOUR, WHY NOT CHECK OUT OUR OTHER FREE GUIDE HERE